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The Game of Survivor
By Anne Tyra
Anne Tyra discusses her experiences as a parent whose oldest son
recently started college. Including typical worries of how well the
child will handle the responsibilities of life away from home.
Anne currently has a son who attends
an in-state university. She is a
professional writer with fourteen juvenile fiction and historical
reference
books to her credit.
When my oldest child left for college in August, I spent the first
three weeks sobbing in my bathroom. He was only two hours away;
heck, it took me that long to get across the city in rush hour
traffic. So, why did it feel like he was on the other side of the
world? I worried about things that were out of my control: that he
would oversleep and be late for his morning classes, that he
wouldn’t know where to eat and be too embarrassed to ask questions,
that he would get sick, and I wouldn’t be there to diagnose his
malady and take care of him. How would he manage his time? How would
he survive on his own?
I spent a good chunk of the summer
shopping for him, hoping to transform his little dorm room into a
home away from home. By the time D-Day arrived, we needed three cars
to transport our little family and all of his supplies to the
university, again only two hours away. We trudged up and down three
flights of stairs carrying electronic equipment, a fan, his new
wardrobe, towels, sheets, bathroom supplies, a first aid kit, tool
kits, dishes, glasses, utensils, and enough food to feed his entire
hall. I felt good. If he had to stay up late and cram for an exam,
he had brain food handy. If he had a headache, he had a bottle of
Tylenol. If something fell apart, he had a hammer. He had his cell
phone, he had a credit card, and he had a car. I told myself, he was
all set.
To my great surprise, he really was. The little boy who never made
his bed told was making it every day now. The teenager who slept
through his alarm had yet to be late to class. He has never missed a
meal (that he has admitted to), and he respectfully calls home to
keep his parents updated on his well being. He even talks to his
sister, and has helped with her math homework several times.
Yes, there have been a few
interesting moments here and there. His car was towed because he
parked in a reserved space. That cost him $200. He learned to pay
attention to signs. His bank account was overdrawn once or twice.
That cost him another $200. He learned to check his balance every
day. We did change his cell phone plan when he went over his minutes
by several hundred. Since he had no more money in his bank account,
that cost us $200. We learned to check his minutes every day. When
that grew tiresome, we just changed his plan and gave him more
minutes. In the long run, it saved us money.
But, as the ensuing weeks and months have proved, he survived just
fine. I was the one that fell apart. We both had to make radical
adjustments in our lives, but my son made his with an ease and grace
and courage that humbled me. I fumbled my way through, and I still
am. I do feel sad when I walk by his empty room, and I do feel lost
in the mornings without his big sleepy eyes staring at me over a
bowl of corn flakes.
Then the phone rings, and I hear triumph in his voice when he tells
me how he aced an exam or how excited he is about a concert he
attended. I feel proud of this boy-man that I raised. We talk about
life, and he shares his dreams, and I think how happy I am to have
him in my life – even if he is two hours away. I know he is going to
be just fine, and I am at peace again. I will survive this, after
all. Before we hang up, I ask him what he wants for dinner this
weekend, and I remind him to take his vitamins and be sure to bring
home his laundry.
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