College Tips for Parents

Kimberly wrote this article at the end of her freshman year.  She discusses moving away home, dealing with roommates, and how relationships with parents can actually become closer while away at colege.   She also offers a couple tips for parents.

The primary college motivation for any high school senior is the aspect of moving out. It appears that college is the most convenient and ideal time where rebellious teenagers, convinced of their invincibility, are finally given the opportunity to leave the nest. Needless to say, it is also personally appeasing to parents, where instead of saying, “Hey Mom and Dad, I’m moving into an apartment with so-and-so and we’re going to live off Ramen and Red Bull for the rest of our lives,” kids are presented with the legitimate reason of, “It’s college and I have to dorm. Later.” Sweet, so we teenagers are invincible.

But living outside the nest has its inevitable ups and downs. True, college freshmen are free from the restraints of parental supervision. But they have other challenges to face housing conditions with, such as learning to live with complete strangers, notoriously known as the roommates.

We’ve all heard stories about them: the horrible roommate from a hick-town in the mid-West who doesn’t brush his teeth, cuts his toe-nails within range of eyeballs and bathes in vinegar (there’s some truth in this statement). But when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, living with a stranger won’t be that bad if you’re not that bad to live with. Communication is the key essential factor and accommodation needs to be made on both sides. Let’s face it, if you don’t act crazy, chances are your roommate won’t feel the need to out-crazy you.

When filling out the checklist for my “ideal” roommate type, I said I sleep late, get up late, am bothered by loud music and am extremely tidy. However, when college really happened, it turns out that I prefer morning classes, my desk is definitely the messiest of the three (yes, I live in a triple with two other girls!), and I’m the only one who likes to play my music through loud speakers. But it doesn’t matter as long as my roommates don’t complain. And in fact, they don’t; they have never complained. Because even though I sleep early and they stay up late, I compromise with headphones at night and they group study in the common lounge areas or use desk lamps. And when playing my music, I would always ask if they mind and in some cases, am completely okay with taking requests. It’s a two-way street when you live with someone or when you have any type of relationship with anyone. You just have to remember to be respectful and courteous all the time. Key words: all the time. It may be hard to remember in the beginning but that can always be backed up with a simple apology minutes later. You have nothing to lose when you’re sharing a 190 sq. feet room with two other people, and that’s the worst case scenario.

But obviously, problems do arise among newly situated and highly stressed college environments. In that case, the most common retreat from any dilemma comes from, who would have thought, the first roommates ever: the parents! After a usually tiring course of classes, the last thing college students want to end the day with is a chaotic encounter with the roommates. Thus, the closest feeling of home sweet home is a friendly phone call to Mom or Dad. I have actually noticed that relationships between with parents grow closer when the distance is farther. So during the settling-in period of adjusting to roommates and tiny living quarters, the first and most important thing to remember is that home is just a phone-call away. And parents, keep the doors open with wide arms of support.

Living away from home may seem like the scariest and most exciting thrill of any college freshman. And soon enough, the typical college student will start to refer to the dorms with mixed statements as, “I’m heading home” or, “I need to pick up my books from home.” Because it’s just that; dorm-life will become a second home that you will have to live with for a year so make the best of it and deal accordingly to any problems. So live smart and live it up because honestly, after a few weeks, the months are going to turn into semesters and then moving back to home will only be a final away.